Here's what to do if you want to lose your nerd in ten days.
Assuming you want to keep your nerd around (which you should), do not do any of these things.
Choose wisely.
How To Lose Your Nerd in 10 Days
Day 2: Tell her that science fiction is "like, beyond stupid, and has nothing to do with anything real."
Day 3: Throw away his comic book collection.*
Day 4: Three little words: "Joss Whedon who?"
Day 5: Purposefully mix up Star Wars and Star Trek all day long. Say things like "Okay, so like, if Kirk was captain of the whaddayacallit, the Millennium Falcon, why didn't he just put it on auto-pilot or whatever and hook up with Carrie Fisher all the time?" This will work especially well if you're dating a Trekkie OR a diehard Star Wars fanatic, but is sufficiently effective if you're dating anyone with an ounce of nerd pride.
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| Halloween 2011. We even won a prize. |
Day 6: Tell her that politics don't matter, and also that Jon Stewart isn't funny.
Day 7: Tell him that he's a little bit too old to dress up for Halloween.
Day 8: Tell her that super hero mythology is "like, beyond stupid, and never has anything to do with anything real."
Day 9: Three little words: "Neil Gaiman who?"
Day 10: If you've managed to last this long, you may want to check the box and make sure that you did, in fact, pick up a nerd. Because you might not have. Or your nerd might be a specialty edition Math Nerd or Anime Nerd or IT Nerd** or something, in which case, if you still want to ditch them, you'll have to take a more targeted approach. (Clearly, I have the most experience with comic/film/superhero/fantasy/vampire/zombie/bookwormy nerds. I was raised on the X-Men, Madeline L'Engle, and The Dark Crystal. It was bound to happen.)
But seriously. Love your nerd. They'll introduce you to whole new worlds ...
*This, in fact, might get you dumped immediately. Actually ... that may be true on more than one of these, depending on your nerd's tolerance level and willingness to re-educate you. Don't assume you're too hot to be dumped by a nerd. You're not.
**If you have an IT nerd, lucky you!! If you're an idiot and want to lose him/her, roll your eyes about how annoying it is when IT people ask you if you "checked to make sure it's plugged in - what, do they think I'm an idiot or something?" (They do, and you should probably check to make sure it's plugged in before you call.)
GAH. I died each step of the way. GAAAH. and sometimes it's not plugged in even after checking, cause they checked the wrong thing.
ReplyDeleteHa! :)
DeleteRock on
ReplyDeleteFOLLOW UP TO POST: One of the places that a friend re-posted this, someone pointed out that I used the word "Nerd" when I should have said "Geek." I responded there that in my experience, these days nerd/geek are used interchangeably - and when I learned that "Geek" originally referred to the carnival performer who would eat heads off of live chickens (and, though sometimes now used to describe someone brainy, 'geeks' in Geek Show were also 'simpletons') ... I decided I generally preferred "Nerd." ;-)
ReplyDeleteBonus: Tina Fey uses "nerds!" as an expletive. Seals. The. Deal.
I can not imagine you doing any of the above, perhaps because you are in fact a nerd yourself.
ReplyDeleteIt must be in the blood. There seems to be a suspiciously high percentage of nerds in the family. Your cousin Brent claims nerdhood as well.