#OneWordFaces (And Lemons)

When life hands you lemons, make #onewordfaces. That's what I'm doing, anyway.

Beautiful use of lemon.

Last month was full of rejection and disappointment. I wrote about getting bitter. I joked on Facebook about donning a shirt that said "LIFE" and handing people lemons. And then, I actually did it. (Well, I made a big press-pass style nametag instead of a shirt.) Handed lemons to half a dozen folks; asked them to email me when they decided what to do with the lemon life handed them. So far, one person has replied. He garnished a sazerac. Cheers, RB!

If the lemon payoff continues, I'll post about that at more length. But in the meantime, I've been buckling down on my "real" writing. You know - as in writing-other-than-blogging.* And I've also been reading.** And I've been trying to get fit.***

Factor in that last one - the fit fact - when I then tell you this: I saw a Kate Moss quote recently, and while I'm sure she's not the first person to say it, these words coupled with her figure make you want to shove a hamburger down her throat: "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels."

That quote, and my reaction to it, led to this:

I mean, seriously.

And I'm not stopping there. Because I know at if there's one thing the world's not running short on anytime  soon, it's #stupidcelebrityquotes. And I feel pretty confident I have one word + a face to snark back retorts to all such banality. These responses, of course, shall be known as #OneWordFaces ... and thus we begin.

I've decided that's what this blog will be devoted to, at least for the next week or so. Because it's a pretty quick turnaround to create these responses, which means I can still get my 'real' writing done, while also venting, snarking, and displaying my dubious side at the expense of shallow celebs. Win-win-win, right?

So, please send stupid celebrity quotes my way! They need responses, and I'm just the face for the job!

Also, up for debate: do I keep the same face for each retort? Or customize 'em? I have a LOT of faces. Like, A LOT.**** If the rumors are to believed, in half... I'm half cartoon.

*PS Also, am I the only person who still feels like an idiot anytime they say "blog" out loud? Blog, blogging, blogged, blogger... blerg.
**More on that soon.
***Yeah, on that, too.
****True story: more than one friend has proposed a coffee book titled simply FACES OF BETH. Guess what would fill those pages?