Bitter, Better, Best

I'll show them.

Yeah, well, you're not gonna
align with my future needs, mister.

That's my dominant thought, every time I get a rejection.

It's not my first thought, of course. My first thought usually goes something more like: I suck. I knew it. I shouldn't have even gone for this. This is humiliating. I tried and failed.

But then, eventually, my lip stops trembling, and instead, I set my jaw. I shift from post-rejection stage one (defeat, AKA straight-up-bitter) to stage two (determined, AKA bitter-making-me-better). 

Artists dealing with rejection is beyond cliche. And each and every time it happens, we're told to ignore it. To just keep on keeping on. "If you shoot for the moon you'll land among the stars." Positive platitude, positive platitude, yadda yadda yadda. Stay positive! Don't let 'em get you down! Don't get bitter! 

But you know what? I say embrace it. I say preach the bitter gospel, kids. Kick that much more ass, to prove how wrong they were.

The whole chin-up, don't-let-'em-get-you-down thing is not wrong, of course. And obviously, don't let sticking-it-to-the-idiots-who-turned-you-down become your primary means for continuing your passion. You should keep doing your art because you love it. And because art is freaking subjective, so one opinion on anything artistic is just that - one opinion. And because when you get a flat tire, you don't throw out the car - you cuss, stomp your foot, then put on the donut and keep on driving to your destination.

But a little healthy prove-them-WRONG, inspiring, glowering bitterness is not such a bad thing. In fact, sometimes it really is what motivates us to keep going when the going gets tough. Being told "OMG you are SO awesome" non-stop is nice (I imagine), but it doesn't make you step up your game. Being told "eh, we're not that impressed" totally blows (I know from experience), but it sure can light a fire under your ass.

So indulge those revenge fantasies. Like little Arya on Game of Thrones, mutter the names of those you want to skewer with your mighty Needle (um, in this case, your Needle is your art, not an actual sword). Keep a running list. Let the looks on their faces inspire you to kick it up a notch. 

Do more art. Do better art. Remind yourself that hoooo boy, are they going to be kicking themselves one day, when you're a hot commodity and will no longer take their calls! Hell yeah, they are!

So, as long as you don't let bitterness make you mean, stagnant, or jealous, I say put it to good use. Use it. Work it. Because artistic revenge can be an amazing goal. Let bitter make you better...

(...and then, when you have the connections and the success, be nice to the newbies. You don't want to get added to their list).