How To Get Lucky With a Writer

Congratulations! You're dating a writer!* Now comes the tough part: getting him/her to step away from the stories and into your arms. Never fear. Little Pixie Magic is here to help, with five easy ways to seduce the writer in your life.

5 Smooth Moves to Get Lucky With The Writer In Your Life

Smooth Move #1: The Irresistible Reader. Like peanut butter and jelly, readers and writers naturally go together. Your love of books is probably already one of the things your writer-squeeze digs about you, am I right? Play that up. Casually mention the book you're currently reading. That's step one, subtly reminding them of your literary sophistication.Then, step two - and this is key - even more casually, say "Of course, they're not nearly as good a writer as you are..." Boom. Done. You're welcome. Caveat: you better have actually read something your writer has written. Emails and grocery lists don't count.

Smooth Move #2: The Wine & Dine. When we're really in the zone, we writers sometimes forget to eat. I know - it's weird. Make a delicious dinner (or if you really can't cook, make some delicious reservations, or pick up some delicious takeout), open a bottle of wine, and your writer will instantly be reminded of two things: first, that s/he's hungry; second, that you are awesome. Caveat: sometimes just wine will work, of course, but don't go too heavy on the wine - not all writers have to be alcoholics in order to become legends, no matter what Hemingway might have to say. Or Faulkner. Or Poe. Or Capote...

Smooth Move #3: Just Plain Whine. Writers are artists. This simple fact is sometimes easy to forget, since we writers tend to be quieter, more internal, and less prone to wearing fishnets or bursting into song in public (unless, of course, s/he is also an actor, in which case - hoo boy, good luck). But the truth is, they're artists, which means they understand emotional outbursts. Feeling ignored? Whine a little: "I just realllllllly want to kiss you." Caveat: Don't overdo it. The Just Plain Whine technique is a fine line. But all artists are inherently needy and recognize it in others, and if they have any sort of heart, you'll get that kiss.

Smooth Move #4: "Save" Them. Tell your writer to hit "save." Then turn off their computer. Then turn off the lights. Caveat -- actually, WARNING: Let your writer hit save before you turn off the computer - or have your new eHarmony profile ready to go. (Just kidding. eHarmony will be a moot point. Make sure you're a fast runner and able to assume a new identity, or you're a goner.)

Smooth Move #5: Do That Thing You're So Good At. No, not that thing - the other thing! Whether it's playing soccer or being in a play, taking all of your buddies' money at poker night or volunteering with kids in need... do what you love doing, while your writer writes. Then, reunite and do that thing you and your writer both love doing -- no, no, you dirty kids! I mean the dance class you take together, or the cooking class you take together, or whatever! Demonstrate for your writer-love that nice balance of individual pursuits, shared activities, and - you guessed it! That other thing you're so good at. Caveat: If you're also a writer, good Lord! Who's gonna step out of storyland and get some smooth moves underway? Maybe try setting alarms on your phone.

If none of these little tricks work, your best bet is to wait for writer's block to strike, and then... you know ... show up.

(Preferably with brushed teeth. But you're probably good either way.)

*So yeah, these moves are mostly relevant if you're already dating a writer, because getting a writer's attention in the first place can be really difficult. See. that's why I wrote a list about getting lucky with a writer you already landed, and not how to woo a writer you don't already know. That sh*t is hard.